May 2012
5 posts
Things end. People leave. And you know what? Life...
Distance is the space between our fingers and the way our legs don’t intertwine like they should. Distance is the number of miles that are separating us from the places we want to be, the beds we want to be sleeping in. Distance is the way your voice sounds through telephone lines and computer screens. Distance is that longing feeling in my chest that I get often throughout the day. Distance...
April 2012
5 posts
I tried to tell you once before that this wasn’t how I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be different; to feel something new, to feel alive. I tried to tell you twice before you looked at me in the eyes and let me down. I tried to tell you, but you didn’t listen.
How nostalgic and sad but warm and familiar the balance of things has become. for every reckless choice, there is a reason behind it: those odd feelings it digs up, the constant coming and going of people and places and emotions. home has always been this ebb and flow but there’s something disconcerting about the new shift in priorities, the quiet unsettling of lustful glances and wistful...
March 2012
1 post
Sometimes I don’t feel anything. There just seems...
February 2012
5 posts
There are so many nights when all I want to do is fall asleep, but I fear the nighttime in a way unlike anything else. I’m afraid of the way things feel when my head hits the pillow and how lonely I seem to become in that moment. I’m afraid of how all I ever seem to think of is the past and the future and never the in between. I’m afraid of how I always picture you there next to...
I am empty thoughts and fluttering eyelashes; a cut that was too deep and promises you couldn’t keep. I am bruised shins and battered bones. I am worn down from people like you, the ones that always seem to find a way under my skin. The ones that always make me lose too much sleep. Maybe that’s why it’s past four in the morning and you’re sound asleep, probably in someone...
January 2012
14 posts
Listen
i tried to forget but you grew roots around my ribcage and sprouted flowers just below my collarbones.all day I pluck their petals but I have not yet ascertained whether you love me or not.
Ten, nine, eight. When I was a child, I had to fight to stay awake just to watch the clock hit midnight and would yell out the numbers with my parents as we counted down the seconds. Seven, six, five. When I got a little bit older, I’d spend the night drinking sparkling grape juice and pretending to know what it was like to feel classy. Four, three, two. A few years later, when I was old...
December 2011
2 posts
November 2011
3 posts
I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit...
October 2011
11 posts
So this is what it means to be a human being.
I have poured everything of myself into rough scribbles and words drawn and written on scrap pieces of papers and the screen in front of me. Eraser shavings and pencil indents; backspace keys and edit buttons. I wish I could undo and unravel and dream and write and immerse myself in nature and never let go of anything ever. And there are moments when I look around my environment and realize how...
I’m another year older and a little bit wiser; another year older and a little bit calmer, another year older and a little bit more responsible. I’m older and have nothing figured out, but I’ll get there along the way. I’ve got the people I need around me and that’s all I need.
I can count the amount of people that I truly...
I look at my mind from within and feel both trapped and puzzled about the strangeness of my existence. My thoughts swirl round and round constantly probing the strangeness of selfhood- why do I exist? Why am I me and not someone else? At these times, feelings of sweaty panic develop, as if I am having a phobia about my own thoughts. At other times, I don’t feel “grounded.” I look...
September 2011
16 posts
I’m impossible to forget, but hard to remember.
1 tag
